Post one funny Newskin paragraph a day!

[fuckyougrim]

twitter.com/shawnspencer_

www.facebook.com/thetrueshawnspencer

shawnspencerfans.tumblr.com/

So Newskin's facebook and twitter accounts are goldmines of hilariousness. The only rule to this thread is you can only post something from one of his pages ONCE a day. You can post comments in response to other posts, but don't take multiple things from his pages in one day, just find the best one you can and post it!

Let me get the ball rolling:

"To all the people who shit talk me: I am in Mesa Arizona right now. I *cruisering* dare JUST ONE OF YOU to come meet me in person. I could bring some friends with me for protection but I'd rather face you alone. I would love to see how people are face to face. Not one person has ever talked shit to me in person or attacked me, other than these 2 south african faggots from LA who sucker punched me and jumped me when I was already injured and they also got me from behind."

[switch]

Shawn Spencer is a legend,

Kind of like this guy,

cultso.com/artist-takes-every-drug-known-to-man-draws-self-portraits-after-each-use/?fwcc=1&fwcl=1&fwl


but sexier.


I'm totally stoked about his upcoming reality TV show.

Latest FB:

"need to make an important announcement: I just got off the phone with an ESCAPE THE FATE Fan named Len Len Garcia. This kid is very intelligent and genuine and he's only 15 years old. He had sent me money for a guitar I was selling several months back and he never received his guitar due to the fact that my former lead singer and Ex best friend took the money to buy drugs and entirely disregard the fact that Len wanted a guitar. Rather than bitch about TNBK, max Green, and other personal drama I've exposed publicly, I need it to be known that I had absolutely no part in using this money on something it wasn't intended for. I am not Jonny Craig, I do not scam my fans for money and I will back up that statement to my grave. Len deserves his guitar or his money and to be honest I know that my ex friends will never admit to their wrongful criminal behavior, so once again I feel obligated to at the very least acknowledge Len and when I get back to LA and get settled in I will personally compensate him because I am a good hearted person. I also want it to be known that I gave no warránts I. California so if you chose to believe these retarded rumors you are simply this: A *cruisering* IDIOT. I find it pathetic that people who I don't know and have never spoken to me in my life seem to find pleasure in attempting to ruin my life. I will give a final warning: cyber bullying and harassing me to this extreme is illegal and the people doing it are facing severe penalties. Keep this up and you will rot in federal prison. To everyone else please stay positive and live your life. I have roughly 6 weeks of clean time and I never plan on touching heroin again. Thank you for reading this, please take me seriously." [<------ LOL]


Quoth the GRIMRIGGER from '07:

"Newskin: Newskin is the beautiful blonde girl of the village, who falls in love with the main hero. Her love is in vain however, because the main hero still mourns his long lost love. Or maybe he just likes men, I dunno. It never really gets explained why he doesn’t just bang the hot blonde chick of the village. The fact that the main hero managed to resist the evil succubus' charm would support the gay theory though."

[eastwind]

i think the bash bros need to counsel NS on the holy path... but seriously jesus o:

[headhunter]

newskin reminds me of zyzz

[homer]

Pray for Sean, as he moves back to Hollywood, he will undoubtedly be tempted by a sudden influx of opportunities to do hard drugs.

God has a purpose for him and it's not to inject himself with drugs.

Pray that he see's that, before it's too late.

Pray.

[Hadzenegger!!!]

Aug 30, 2012 19:02:43 GMT 2 headhunter said:

newskin reminds me of zyzz

cuz were all mirin

[fuckyougrim]

I AM TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH MICHELLE.. BUT I PHYSICALLY CANNOT BECAUSE IF I TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT HER AND EXPOSE WHO SHE REALLY IS, SHE WILL DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO ME SUCH AS TELL KNOWN DRUG DEALERS THAT I AM A ''RAT'' EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT. SOMEONE TRIED TO ACTUALLY KILL ME BECAUSE OF HER *cruisering* LIES. LEAVE ME THE *cruiser* ALONE MICHELLE... THE FACT THAT I HAD TO ACTUALLY PUT THIS ON BLAST SICKENS ME.. I DONT WANT TO BE WITH YOU, YOU *cruisering* FORCE ME INTO SITUATIONS WHERE IF I LEAVE YOU, THEN MY LIFE IS AT RISK. OH MY GOD WHERE ARE THE NORMAL WOMEN??? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY... MICHELLE STOLE MY *cruisering* FACEBOOK ACCOUNT AND I WILL EXPLAIN WHY THIS IS URGENT. MICHELLE HAS BROKEN THE LAW TO SUCH A SEVERE EXTENT THAT SHE COULD FACE LIFE IN JAIL, THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO TRY TO HURT ME. WHAT SHE DOESNT REALIZE IS THAT SHE IS *cruisering* OVER A LOT OF INVESTORS AND MARKETING GENIUSES AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ARE AT STAKE. SHE WILL BE A LIABILITY TO ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH HER OR ANYONE ATTEMPTING TO RUIN MY LIFE.

[valentine]

Misty Lake ‏@mistylakebites

@shawnspencer_ in your dellusional mind you're back in LA & have a meeting with HBO. In reality you're still living behind a dumpster in AZ.

[switch]

Misty Lake is thinking of Kirk.

[waywardone]

I seriously never would have thought in a million years when I was a senior in high school that TEN YEARS FROM NOW I WOULD DOING DRUGS OFF OF THE PUCKERED ASSHOLE OF A VERY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE!

[enculator]

Aug 31, 2012 1:10:26 GMT 2 waywardone said:

I seriously never would have thought in a million years when I was a senior in high school that TEN YEARS FROM NOW I WOULD DOING DRUGS OFF OF THE PUCKERED ASSHOLE OF A VERY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE!

made my day

[homer]

Status update -

"I need to quit eating cold turkey. I keep telling people I'm quitting cold turkey and they're like "what are you quitting?" I'm *cruisering* quitting cold turkey."

First response

No you need to quit drugs dumbass. = 38 likes.

second response

Depends on the bread though, chibata or sourdough? = 3 likes

third response

ha = 0 likes

fourth response

What you need to do is get off of the internet forever. = 24 likes

fifth response

Agree with Jason = 2likes (Jason was the first responder)

sixth response

You needs to quit drugs, quit being an attention whore, GROW THE *cruiser* UP or get some sense knocked into you. Although, you've been better about your lame posts lately. Yes I complimented you = 13 likes

Then it just keeps going...Great joke though, considering it's coming from an addict.

Great Joke.

[par73]

Shawn Spencer ‏@shawnspencer_

@deandraspinner go to rehab? I've been *cruisering* clean 5 weeks thanks for acting like you know me. Get a clue, do not tweet me anymore.blocked

[par73]

GO TO AUGUST 12TH

twitter.com/DEANDRASPINNER

FOR EPIC LULZ LOL

[switch]

*cruiser* all these people do is bitch at eachother on twitter and talk about how edgy they are. Holy *cruisering* shit these people have thousands of followers.


I'm sold on
twitter.com/SarcasticRover

though.

twitter.com/InvisibleObama

looks good too


Our dear Newskin seems to be into hipster exhibitionist sluts. Truly this is the end of days.


This is my paragraph for today, from FB

"Justin Cornwell: So shawn you told me you would *cruiser* me up but no reply when I said I'm in Mesa then in Tempe, it's ok to be scared but you haven't message me and threaten me I will make sure you can't type again

With love a none addicted crazy meth head
August 12 at 2:00am via mobile · Like · 1

Shawn Spencer HEY JUSTIN YOU LITTLE FAGGOT: I DONT SIT ON FACEBOOK ALL NIGHT. PLEASE COME MEET ME RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MESSAGES ME TRYING TO HANG OUT WITH THE GIRLS I ROLL WITH... YOU'RE JUST A DESPERATE FAGGOT TRYING TO GET LAID...AND YOU CLAIMED TO BE MICHELLE'S EX AND SHES NEVER EVEN HEARD OF YOU........... HAHAHA YOU PATHETIC LYING FAGGOT!!!!!"