Blardileaks 2012

[guest]

While reminiscing about some running shit Cu did last year he stumbles upon some crappy team video with a decently attractive female in her 20's, he then stalks.


Cuthecow (11:55:12 PM): oh god
Cuthecow (11:55:21 PM): ive done stalked down and found the girl from that running video
Cuthecow (11:55:23 PM): gods help me
Cuthecow (11:59:50 PM): http://***********.tumblr.com/
Cuthecow (11:59:56 PM): my powers must be used for good not this evil


Blade wakes up next morning....

dkillian408 (11:05:36 AM): which running video
dkillian408 (11:05:44 AM): lol the one from that chicago thing?
dkillian408 (11:05:46 AM): you monster.
Cuthecow (11:05:51 AM): listen
Cuthecow (11:06:01 AM): i cant help it
dkillian408 (11:06:48 AM): i love you for who you are
dkillian408 (11:06:59 AM): i accept that you are a monster
Cuthecow (11:08:45 AM): she reminds me of starbuck with the blonde hair
Cuthecow (11:12:27 AM): unfortunately i remember things too well
Cuthecow (11:12:36 AM): so it looks even worse, like ive been studying her
Cuthecow (11:13:04 AM): BORN IN NEW MEXICO WENT TO ******* COLLEGE 04-08
Cuthecow (11:13:15 AM): VARSITY SOCCER WORKED AT ********* THING
Cuthecow (11:13:24 AM): MOVED THIS YEAR TO OHIO OH GOD its creepy
dkillian408 (11:13:40 AM): im doing the slow backward walk
dkillian408 (11:13:44 AM): you just cant see
Cuthecow (11:13:53 AM): I JUST REMEMBER SHIT LIKE THAT
Cuthecow (11:14:37 AM): i could do the same to you
Cuthecow (11:14:48 AM): and i currently do not want to have sexual relations with you
Cuthecow (11:16:04 AM): she was just so fun loving and care free in the video it warmed my dark tortured soul
dkillian408 (11:17:21 AM): you havent met her?
dkillian408 (11:17:30 AM): YOU KNOW HER PURELY FROM THE VIDEO?
Cuthecow (11:17:37 AM): OF COURSE NOT THERE WERE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
Cuthecow (11:17:40 AM): I WAS WITH GAY MEN
dkillian408 (11:17:49 AM): WHY DONT YOU STALK ONE OF THEM
Cuthecow (11:17:52 AM): and 1 annoying denver nuggets cheerleader
Cuthecow (11:18:06 AM): I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM
dkillian408 (11:19:00 AM): you need to forget about running girl she's clearly running from something
Cuthecow (11:20:18 AM): shes probably less damaged than catwoman girl
dkillian408 (11:20:34 AM): most people are
Cuthecow (11:23:53 AM): not me
Cuthecow (11:44:07 AM): i keep replaying patrice clips
Cuthecow (11:44:18 AM): like a widow constantly looking over old videos
dkillian408 (11:44:40 AM): have you written me into your will yet
dkillian408 (11:45:05 AM): im worried you'll leave me with nothing
Cuthecow (11:45:21 AM): i wont be leaving you.
dkillian408 (11:45:39 AM): oh god
Cuthecow (12:11:46 PM): CYA GAY BOYS

[guest]

Cu finds another random decently attractive female on the internet this time cosplaying as catwoman, blade offers friendly advice.




Cuthecow (8:25:23 PM): GOD BLESS AMERICA
dkillian408 (8:25:31 PM): WHY
Cuthecow (8:26:13 PM): catwoman girl
Cuthecow (8:26:15 PM): will be mine
dkillian408 (8:26:30 PM): how
Cuthecow (8:26:37 PM): i dont know
Cuthecow (8:26:48 PM): its meant to happen though
dkillian408 (8:26:49 PM): sounds like a ghengis plan
Cuthecow (8:27:36 PM): we're meant for each other
dkillian408 (8:31:58 PM): anything exciting from work
Cuthecow (8:32:07 PM): just thinking about catwoman girl
dkillian408 (8:36:30 PM): sounds fun
Cuthecow (8:36:55 PM): *cruiser* you
Cuthecow (8:37:30 PM): dont make fun of my pain
dkillian408 (8:37:52 PM): oh so you feel pain now?
Cuthecow (8:38:24 PM): nigga i need a woman
dkillian408 (8:39:08 PM): brb
dkillian408 (8:48:41 PM): i dont think catwoman is right for you
Cuthecow (8:52:05 PM): what do you mean
dkillian408 (8:52:16 PM): well how are you supposed to meet her
Cuthecow (8:53:01 PM): dont get in my path bro
Cuthecow (8:59:59 PM): you never believe in me
dkillian408 (9:00:18 PM): what bro
dkillian408 (9:00:20 PM): i believe you
dkillian408 (9:00:23 PM): i believe IN you
dkillian408 (9:00:26 PM): but this catwoman
Cuthecow (9:00:37 PM): you know WHAT
dkillian408 (9:00:41 PM): you are setting yourself up for heartbreak
Cuthecow (9:00:41 PM): i do shit for so many people
Cuthecow (9:00:45 PM): NOBODY DOES ANYTHING FOR ME
Cuthecow (9:00:52 PM): *cruiser* you all
dkillian408 (9:00:54 PM): wtf
dkillian408 (9:01:56 PM): i dont know what to say
Cuthecow (9:03:31 PM): its time i play for the only team that matters
Cuthecow (9:03:33 PM): me
dkillian408 (9:04:02 PM): lol
Cuthecow (9:06:01 PM): up yours bro
Cuthecow (9:15:38 PM): i hope you get jailed and get aids in singapore
dkillian408 (9:16:11 PM): i know
dkillian408 (9:16:12 PM): i know.
Cuthecow (9:16:57 PM): what do you know
Cuthecow (9:18:42 PM): /HUH?
dkillian408 (9:19:33 PM): lots
Cuthecow (9:20:36 PM): you failed ghengis
Cuthecow (9:20:45 PM): now youve failed me
dkillian408 (9:20:53 PM): christ
Cuthecow (9:34:26 PM): you incepted me
Cuthecow (9:34:27 PM): didnt you
dkillian408 (9:34:32 PM): with what?
Cuthecow (9:34:54 PM): YOU JUST WANT SOMEONE MORE MISERABLE THAN YOU TO TALK TO
dkillian408 (9:35:01 PM): NONSENSE
dkillian408 (9:35:12 PM): I CAN BARELY STAND OTHER'S MISERY
Cuthecow (9:38:41 PM): you'll pay for this
Cuthecow (9:41:57 PM): i know you betrayed me too
Cuthecow (9:43:17 PM): I KNOW
dkillian408 went away at 9:51:04 PM
dkillian408 (9:56:38 PM): you know nothing clearly
Cuthecow (9:59:34 PM): just what id expect you to say
Cuthecow (10:02:51 PM): im sorry do you forgive me
dkillian408 (10:03:02 PM): i never was upset
Cuthecow (10:03:21 PM): then i dont mean that much to you
dkillian408 (10:04:10 PM): christ
Cuthecow (10:09:30 PM): fucks your problem?
Cuthecow (10:54:02 PM): bro
Cuthecow (10:54:05 PM): im bleeding
dkillian408 signed off at 10:55:39 PM

[switch]

guest said:

dkillian408 (11:13:40 AM): im doing the slow backward walk
dkillian408 (11:13:44 AM): you just cant see

LOL

[guest]

The catwoman girl saga continues... there are 41 hits over the past 5 months in the chat log.

Cuthecow (12:29:37 PM): good morning my love
dkillian408 (12:30:56 PM): hi
dkillian408 (12:31:11 PM): it's saturdaaaaaaaaaay
dkillian408 (12:31:21 PM): in my youth this was a day of great joy
dkillian408 (12:31:26 PM): now it is a day of moderate joy
Cuthecow (12:31:48 PM): in 20 years it will be a day of great pain
Cuthecow (12:31:57 PM): when the whales regain their dominance over this planet
dkillian408 (12:32:58 PM): dont speak of me of the whale uprising today i havent the heart to hear it
Cuthecow (12:34:07 PM): day 4 of my obsession with catwoman girl
dkillian408 (12:34:34 PM): you will never have her she only loves cats
Cuthecow (12:35:39 PM): then i shall dress up as a giant cat
Cuthecow (12:36:34 PM): my highlander cat has caught four mice this season thus far
dkillian408 (12:36:50 PM): my cat caught one the other day
dkillian408 (12:37:04 PM): he's the mountain that rides of cats
Cuthecow (12:37:14 PM): my cat is almost the age of ghengis
Cuthecow (12:38:33 PM): gattaca is on
dkillian408 (12:38:50 PM): i leave everything for the swim back
Cuthecow (12:38:52 PM): my favorite roleplay is to pretend ghengis is the inferior brother
Cuthecow (12:38:54 PM): alas
dkillian408 (12:39:26 PM): which is the inferior brother? wouldnt that be ethan hawke?
Cuthecow (12:39:32 PM): yes
Cuthecow (12:39:45 PM): ghengis is like ethan hawke's character except with zero motivation
dkillian408 (12:39:46 PM): that's a pretty strange roleplay
Cuthecow (12:40:00 PM): its just me reminding him that he is my lesser
Cuthecow (12:42:27 PM): i would totally do that leg lengthening procedure
Cuthecow (12:43:08 PM): faggot hawke is whining about gaining 2 inches
dkillian408 (12:43:08 PM): being tall isnt that great
Cuthecow (12:43:13 PM): you arent tall
dkillian408 (12:43:20 PM): im huge
Cuthecow (12:43:27 PM): you're not even over 6 feet
dkillian408 (12:44:07 PM): my dreams are





Cuthecow (7:46:56 PM): i feel disturbed
dkillian408 (7:47:25 PM): what bothers you friend
Cuthecow (7:48:05 PM): its stupid blade
dkillian408 (7:48:26 PM): you can tell me
Cuthecow (7:48:37 PM): its catwoman girl
dkillian408 (7:49:05 PM): just say it wasnt you
dkillian408 (7:49:32 PM): www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5Hz17C4is
Cuthecow (7:49:37 PM): if i knew this girl i would be going after her
dkillian408 (7:51:35 PM): you should do something romantic and get her attention
dkillian408 (7:51:51 PM): what do you have to lose
Cuthecow (7:52:35 PM): SHES IN ALBERTA
dkillian408 (7:53:06 PM): THATS NOT THAT FAR SLASH PEOPLE MEET ON THE INTERNET THESE DAYS
dkillian408 (7:53:27 PM): what do you have to lose
dkillian408 (7:53:38 PM): you should make a video of yourself doing something stupid and send it to her on youtube or something
Cuthecow (7:54:06 PM): something stupid
dkillian408 (7:54:19 PM): i have no context about this girl
dkillian408 (7:54:22 PM): who is she / where you found her
dkillian408 (7:54:30 PM): do something relevant to what you know about her
Cuthecow (7:54:32 PM): shes on reddit
dkillian408 (7:54:33 PM): without being creepy
dkillian408 (7:55:26 PM): you could start a reddit asking how you should woo her
dkillian408 (7:55:28 PM): that would be funny
dkillian408 (7:59:52 PM): NOTHING TO LOSE
Cuthecow (8:01:09 PM): shes intimidating too which makes me want her even more
dkillian408 (8:01:24 PM): is she just some commenter or have you seen her picture?
Cuthecow (8:01:35 PM): i showed you her pictures
Cuthecow (8:01:45 PM): CATWOMAN GIRL
Cuthecow (8:02:25 PM): imgur.com/a/3iSOU#0
dkillian408 (8:02:30 PM): i have no records
dkillian408 (8:02:50 PM): oh my
dkillian408 (8:03:08 PM): she is dtf
Cuthecow (8:03:15 PM): huh
dkillian408 (8:03:21 PM): DOWN TO *cruiser*
dkillian408 (8:04:34 PM): ok she's hot
dkillian408 (8:04:43 PM): what evidence do you have of her being intimidating
Cuthecow (8:04:52 PM): she was on okcupid
dkillian408 (8:05:11 PM): did you make contact?
Cuthecow (8:05:16 PM): then she deleted her account because she kept dating all these guys and she wasnt finding them to be handsome enough and felt like a bitch
dkillian408 (8:05:28 PM): oh right
Cuthecow (8:10:40 PM): shes on paper the PERFECT woman
dkillian408 (8:16:15 PM): so
dkillian408 (8:16:18 PM): what are ya gonna do
Cuthecow (8:29:09 PM): masturbate furiously and hope i can find a girl closer
dkillian408 (8:32:35 PM): sounds like a plan
Cuthecow (8:32:56 PM): its a pussy plan
dkillian408 (8:33:06 PM): you said it not me!
Cuthecow (8:33:24 PM): ITS CRAZY BLADE
Cuthecow (8:33:37 PM): ALBERTA
dkillian408 (8:33:43 PM): LOVE HAS NO BORDERS
Cuthecow (8:35:43 PM): we can tell our kids how we met
Cuthecow (8:35:50 PM): daddy flew all the way to alberta for a date
Cuthecow (8:36:46 PM): then on the 4th date he drove mommy to the middle of nowhere and told her to put on the cat costume or get out
Cuthecow (8:36:58 PM): and thats how you got here
Cuthecow (8:38:00 PM): btw toews is probably the best player in the nhl right now


Cuthecow (2:07:03 PM): me and catwoman girl were meant for each other I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN
dkillian408 (2:07:15 PM): oh jesus you killed her
Cuthecow (2:07:20 PM): shes only 5 days younger than me
Cuthecow (2:07:32 PM): i somehow knew she was almost exactly my age
dkillian408 (2:07:48 PM): i feel really bad for whoever has to sit next to me on this flight i have terrible gas
Cuthecow (2:08:00 PM): and shes looking for these stockings
Cuthecow (2:08:01 PM): i.imgur.com/B0iFV.jpg
Cuthecow (2:08:03 PM): *cruiser*
dkillian408 (2:08:29 PM): i think you need a girl closer to you
Cuthecow (2:09:07 PM): shes dating someone who is 6'6
Cuthecow (2:09:08 PM): LOL
Cuthecow (2:09:21 PM): shes basically dating chara
dkillian408 (2:09:24 PM): that's not even fair
Cuthecow (2:09:29 PM): i know
Cuthecow (2:09:37 PM): his dick will rip her apart
dkillian408 (2:09:58 PM): i dont think penis size correlates with height
Cuthecow (2:10:12 PM): no?
dkillian408 (2:10:19 PM): no bro
Cuthecow (2:10:43 PM): its got to correlate with massive penis disease
dkillian408 (2:11:06 PM): i can already see everyone on this flight and theres no hot girls
dkillian408 (2:11:09 PM): why cant i for once
dkillian408 (2:11:12 PM): sitn ext to a hot girl
Cuthecow (2:11:17 PM): blade
Cuthecow (2:11:21 PM): i mean daniel
dkillian408 (2:11:25 PM): WHat
Cuthecow (2:11:36 PM): MY CHOSEN ONE IS DATING SOME GIANT
dkillian408 (2:11:50 PM): NOT THE GIANT SHE DESERVES LOL
Cuthecow (2:12:09 PM): god damnit
dkillian408 (2:12:28 PM): bro it'll be ok
dkillian408 (2:12:42 PM): she will get tired of looking up all the time
Cuthecow (2:13:57 PM): ive heard of men doing some crazy shit to get their girl
dkillian408 (2:14:14 PM): they typically know that girl in real life
Cuthecow (2:15:40 PM): DESTINY ISNT TYPICAL
dkillian408 (2:16:23 PM): just be patient and catwoman will come to you
Cuthecow (2:16:40 PM): it doesnt work that way
dkillian408 (2:17:06 PM): *cruisering* asshats
dkillian408 (2:17:10 PM): lining up around this huge room
dkillian408 (2:17:11 PM): to board the plane
Cuthecow (2:17:47 PM): im going to fly to *cruisering* alberta
dkillian408 (2:19:00 PM): maybe you should introduce yourself first
Cuthecow (2:19:11 PM): in alberta?
dkillian408 (2:19:17 PM): god asian people are so funny looking sometimes
dkillian408 (2:19:27 PM): this is going to be an amusing 3 months
Cuthecow (2:19:29 PM): listen shes had like tons of nerds already propose to her
Cuthecow (2:19:43 PM): i need to distinguish myself
dkillian408 (2:19:45 PM): why is she on reddit asking for attention
Cuthecow (2:19:54 PM): i think shes insecure
dkillian408 (2:19:56 PM): did it occur to you maybe she's a whorish cunt from cuntlvania?
Cuthecow (2:20:13 PM): no i think shes insecure!
dkillian408 (2:20:48 PM): and that won't be a problem in your future relationship?
Cuthecow (2:21:36 PM): i like QUIRKS
dkillian408 (2:22:03 PM): you berate people incessantly and nag at their insecurities until they break
Cuthecow (2:22:25 PM): its why i cant have anything nice
dkillian408 (2:22:33 PM): you pretty much need to date a man
dkillian408 (2:22:47 PM): no
dkillian408 (2:22:55 PM): you need bruce willis' girlfriend from pulp fiction
dkillian408 (2:23:37 PM): oh god we're boarding
dkillian408 (2:23:39 PM): it's really happening
Cuthecow (2:24:02 PM): LOL
Cuthecow (2:25:12 PM): i think i'm attracted to cunts
dkillian408 (2:25:17 PM): i should have brought a diaper
Cuthecow (2:25:30 PM): i think i confuse being a cunt with self confidence
Cuthecow (2:25:38 PM): and self confidence in a woman is very attractive
dkillian408 (2:25:55 PM): LOL DID SOMEONE SAY CONFUSING CUNT FOR SELF CONFIDENCE?
dkillian408 (2:25:58 PM): I KNOW NOTHING OF THAT
dkillian408 (2:26:53 PM): ok i gotta board
dkillian408 (2:26:57 PM): hopefully this bitch has wifi
dkillian408 signed off at 2:27:00 PM

[guest]

Cu discovers a physical defect and a large obstruction towards his fantasy.

Cuthecow (11:58:14 PM): my god
Cuthecow (11:58:25 PM): catwoman girl has crohn's disease
Cuthecow (11:58:30 PM): GLAD I AVOIDED THAT LAND MINE PHEW

Cuthecow (12:20:26 AM): everyones jealous of me blade
dkillian408 (12:20:32 AM): not me
Cuthecow (12:20:36 AM): thats true
Cuthecow (12:23:59 AM): you know that under all this potential
Cuthecow (12:24:07 AM): theres a disturbed man yearning for catwoman girl
Cuthecow (12:24:11 AM): and her violent shits
dkillian408 (12:27:48 AM): cat shit smells the worst too
Cuthecow (12:27:56 AM): cat piss

Cuthecow (4:29:39 PM): catwoman girl
Cuthecow (4:29:41 PM): is dating
Cuthecow (4:29:49 PM): A THIRTY EIGHT YEAR OLD MAN
Cuthecow (4:29:53 PM): WHAT THE *cruiser*
Cuthecow (4:30:01 PM): yours truly
Cuthecow (9:09:40 PM): hey bro
dkillian408 (9:10:01 PM): *cruiser* catwoman girl bro
dkillian408 (9:10:06 PM): she clearly has issues
Cuthecow (9:10:23 PM): 38 years old
Cuthecow (9:10:26 PM): what the *cruiser*
Cuthecow (9:10:32 PM): isnt that illegal
dkillian408 (9:11:43 PM): it should be
Cuthecow (9:12:07 PM): in other news
Cuthecow (9:12:22 PM): im getting more furry

Cuthecow (9:43:28 PM): catwoman girl is constantly talking about her tits
Cuthecow (9:43:32 PM): i think we're going to break up
dkillian408 (9:54:36 PM): sorry bro
dkillian408 (9:54:59 PM): i never thought she was right for you
Cuthecow (9:57:12 PM): i havent even masturbated to her yet
Cuthecow (9:57:14 PM): can you believe that?
dkillian408 (9:57:32 PM): i know you really cared about her
Cuthecow (9:57:48 PM): shes dating some 6'6 monstrosity
Cuthecow (10:29:03 PM): whore
Cuthecow (10:35:32 PM): i regret nothing
Cuthecow (10:35:35 PM): NOTHING
dkillian408 went away at 10:59:46 PM

Cuthecow (12:28:56 AM): my captain
Cuthecow (12:28:57 AM): my blard
Cuthecow (12:31:25 AM): oh mother of god
Cuthecow (12:31:29 AM): all that is holy
Cuthecow (12:31:30 AM): i.imgur.com/KXDKK.jpg
dkillian408 (12:32:43 AM): yikes
Cuthecow (12:35:06 AM): i am purchasing the photoshops
Cuthecow (12:35:24 AM): this
Cuthecow (12:35:27 AM): this is the new catwoman girl
dkillian408 (12:35:28 AM): for drawing?
Cuthecow (12:35:36 AM): MY REBOUND GIRL
Cuthecow (12:35:37 AM): LOL
dkillian408 (12:35:41 AM): lol
Cuthecow (12:38:35 AM): *cruiser*
Cuthecow (12:38:36 AM): BOYFRIEND
Cuthecow (12:38:57 AM): why does every girl i like have a boyfriend
Cuthecow (12:38:59 AM): WHY IN THE *cruiser*
Cuthecow (12:39:05 AM): IS THIS SOME SICK JOKE

[blardtholomew]

I'm glad you're posting this here because now when you kill catwoman the blame won't be solely on me but also everyone else in this community who saw the early warning signs

[guest]

From today. Blade has been going through a rough breakup the past... 14 months.

Cuthecow (5:14:34 PM): i do not like yogapants i think they're cheating
dkillian408 (5:14:49 PM): im in incredible shape right now i should start wearing yogapants
dkillian408 (5:14:52 PM): no homo of course
Cuthecow (5:14:59 PM): incredible shape
dkillian408 (5:15:30 PM): well not really. but i look like it anyway
Cuthecow (5:15:39 PM): look like it
dkillian408 (5:15:39 PM): i bike 14 miles a day
dkillian408 (5:15:42 PM): I *cruisering*
dkillian408 (5:15:44 PM): do pushups
dkillian408 (5:15:46 PM): i have a pullup bar
dkillian408 (5:15:52 PM): *cruiser* im getting hard
dkillian408 (5:15:56 PM): just thinking about me
Cuthecow (5:16:01 PM): you think you're a hard man?
dkillian408 (5:16:11 PM): OH I KNOW IT
Cuthecow (5:16:18 PM): you should come hoe the fields for the farm this summer
Cuthecow (5:16:23 PM): i'm sure they'll be looking for a helper
Cuthecow (5:16:30 PM): we'll see how fit you are then
dkillian408 (5:16:51 PM): manual labor is hard on me because my center of gravity is stupid
Cuthecow (5:16:57 PM): hahahahdwhhdhd
dkillian408 (5:17:00 PM): i have hugely muscular legs but a long torso
dkillian408 (5:17:12 PM): so im a lanky idiot
Cuthecow (5:18:00 PM): keep your back straight and look down with your eyes not head
Cuthecow (5:18:08 PM): nothing you can do about the blisters, gloves are for pussies
Cuthecow (5:18:20 PM): enjoy the next 8 hours
Cuthecow (5:18:26 PM): though you do get a paid lunch break
dkillian408 (5:19:05 PM): when you do squats do you ever look down
Cuthecow (5:19:14 PM): with my head?
Cuthecow (5:19:26 PM): how your head is is how your spine is
Cuthecow (5:19:55 PM): thats why when you run your forehead should be angled above the horizon
Cuthecow (5:20:03 PM): lol
Cuthecow (5:20:08 PM): i just recalled
Cuthecow (5:20:16 PM): and now i just made a connection
Cuthecow (5:20:42 PM): my sister had a boyfriend who did triathlons a bit
Cuthecow (5:20:56 PM): and was a good athlete and she dumped him because he wouldnt commit or something
Cuthecow (5:21:11 PM): her new boyfriend does ironmans and is looking to go pro at it
Cuthecow (5:21:16 PM): she totally upgraded, good for her
dkillian408 (5:21:38 PM): JESUS
dkillian408 (5:21:41 PM): WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT
dkillian408 (5:21:48 PM): I HAVE SO MANY INSECURITIES ABOUT
dkillian408 (5:21:48 PM): *cruiser*
Cuthecow (5:21:48 PM): whatd i do
dkillian408 signed off at 5:21:49 PM
Cuthecow (5:21:51 PM): what
Cuthecow (5:22:40 PM): oh the gf that dumped you thing
Cuthecow (5:22:41 PM): whoops

[Hadzenegger!!!]

dont give a phuck

[Hadzenegger!!!]

[switch]

^^ that shit is old

[liger]

thats the best thing ive seen in my entire life