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Post by grim on Jun 2, 2012 6:16:48 GMT 2
Boyz in the Hood A bunch of black people show you what its like to live as a poor nigger 7/10 Chengis ~  |
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ghengis
A better forum warrior
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Post by ghengis on Jun 2, 2012 6:18:02 GMT 2
War Games
Some nerdy highschool kid has to play a computer in a game of tic tac toe to save the world from nuclear destruction. Moral of the movie= If two people have any intelligence whatsoever tic tac toe ends in a draw. The computer ends up not having any control over the nuclear weapons and this movie is a waste of time.
1 star
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Post by adrenaline on Jun 2, 2012 6:37:20 GMT 2
LOL GRIM
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ghengis
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Post by ghengis on Jun 2, 2012 6:59:53 GMT 2
The Titanic
Leonardo Decaprio stars in the highest grossing movie of all time. A great story about an unsinkable ship that was well, sunk. Too bad they focused on the two biggest losers on the entire boat. If i wanted to watch a bad love story I would watch the notebook. The only good part of this movie is when the ship sinks and people start dying. Proof that the average person is a lackwit cunt with zero sense.
0 stars, *cruiser* hollywood, *cruiser* people.
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Post by Aki on Jun 2, 2012 8:34:02 GMT 2
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homer
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Post by homer on Jun 2, 2012 8:34:24 GMT 2
Leo willingly sacrifices himself in order not to be trapped on an even smaller floating device with that fat slut.
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homer
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Post by homer on Jun 2, 2012 8:38:30 GMT 2
Broken Flowers ~ Bill Murray decides to see how funny he is without talking for an entire movie, he's still pretty funny, but not as funny when he talks, in the end who he thinks is long lost son, is just some random drifter kid who assumes Bill Murray is a pedophile, I guess that proves to be the funniest scene. that's the ending, the movie was pretty boring. But better than Garfield.
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homer
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Post by homer on Jun 2, 2012 8:44:36 GMT 2
The Day After Tomorrow -
The impending doom of civilization finally at hand when the new ice age is ushered in. Cold enough to instantly lay a sheet of ice over the entire planet but not cold enough to kill a few *cruisering* idiots in gortex throwing books into a fire.... Probably the worst movie made, Jake Gyllenhal proves he can star in something worse than playing a gay cowboy. somehow people out run "cold" in this movie, whoever thought this up as an action stunt should be fucked in the ass by a gay cowboy in real life.
-269 stars.
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homer
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Post by homer on Jun 2, 2012 8:54:46 GMT 2
The Fast and the Furious -
Masterpiece of the underground racing world, Vin diesel in a reflection of his real life intelligence takes an undercover cop under his wing and teaches him to do high speed robbery's. Besides there being about 10 million easier ways to make money than robbing trucks at 90 MPH. this movie was a great excuse for fast cars going fast, most of what I remember is people hitting a red button on their gear shift which is where everyone kept their secret weapon, Nitrus. Unfortunately every *cruisering* person with a car had nitrus in this movie so it wasn't really an edge.
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homer
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Post by homer on Jun 2, 2012 9:18:33 GMT 2
Turner & Hooch - Tom Hanks gets stuck with an adorable mutt that eats all his shit and drools on his nice suits. Tom pretends to hate the dog and acts like it's ruining his lonely meaningless life when in reality it's all he has to live for. As to be expected Tom Hanks is a detective who runs around like a fairy and the dog goes out in a glorious blaze of gunfire, I forget if it dies or lives but I know it spawns a buttload of puppies to haunt Tom hanks bachelor pad and piss in his loafers. 12 stars.
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homer
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Post by homer on Jun 2, 2012 9:27:58 GMT 2
Beethoven ~ Charles Groden gets a dog for his shit eating kids. It pisses in his loafers like 29 times in 30 days just like Hooch did to Turner, he decides he's going to give the dog away but then it saves his kid from drowning in a pool. the dog uses it's heightened animal intuition to sniff out assholes and phony's at which point some phony tries to frame a dog, yeah that really happens. The phony almost gets away with it but Charles Groden punches him out and he falls into a stack of needles he uses to put animals to sleep, Beethoven wins the day and returns home to *cruiser* his way to a sequel.
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homer
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Post by homer on Jun 2, 2012 20:10:06 GMT 2
Bushwhacked - starring Daniel Stearn, a man running from the police runs by a bunch of children on a scouting venture, on his way into the woods. The idiotic mom takes him to be a scout troop leader and places the kids in his care for an overnight into the mountains. Daniel Stearns doesn't know shit about anything in this movie especially outdoor survival, and in-spite of the kids all being unknowingly trapped in a hostage situation in route to a sadistic murdering criminals cabin - Hilarity ensues.
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par73
Forum legend
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Post by par73 on Jun 2, 2012 21:02:08 GMT 2
if you didn't already realize this, yew mite be a rednek |
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Post by valentine on Jun 2, 2012 21:22:10 GMT 2
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ghengis
A better forum warrior
Posts: 118
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Post by ghengis on Jun 3, 2012 1:24:03 GMT 2
if you didn't already realize this, yew mite be a rednek except that this theory is retarded because tarantino made all those movies way before inglorious basterds. So this whole theory is saying he knew he was going to burn hitler in a movie theater like 20 yrs ago? Yeah right. Of course they are all in the same universe. We're all in the same universe, *cruiser* that just because he makes good violent movies doesnt make him some artist. |
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